


Maybe in another life

by moonandroses



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Engagement, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, it's still fucked up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29035755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonandroses/pseuds/moonandroses
Summary: Confessing is never easy.Even less if it's to your best friend.Even less if he's engaged.or 'Daichi confesses to Kuroo even though he knows he's gonna get rejected'.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	Maybe in another life

He’d liked him for as long as he could remember. Liked, such a strange word. No, he didn’t like him the way couples love each other when you’re watching a romantic comedy. It wasn’t the butterflies neither the jealousy. None of Hollywood’s depictions of love matched what he felt.

For him, it was like waking up to the smell of your favourite breakfast. It was like a deep silence when you got home after a concert. It was like a river: it just flowed from the mountain to the sea. No one expected it to be otherwise, the streams formed rivers and carried the water as they’d always done. It is a phenomenon that everyone knows without having to ponder over it. He liked him because he was his certainty. The only thing in his life he was sure about.

Too bad he was late for that, isn’t it?

“What did you just say?”

Daichi smiled ironically.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I wasn’t thinking straight. I gotta go”. He knew a pair of eyes followed his every action, but he couldn’t care less about that right now. He grabbed the doorknob and left. The cool air touched his skin, sending shivers down his spine. Maybe cool was an understatement: it was freezing cold, to say the least. Not that it mattered, either. He was about to go crazy.

“ _What the hell have you done, you fucking idiot_ ”, he thought to himself. He had just confessed to the one he considered the love of his life… right after knowing he was engaged. As he ran towards his car, some streets ahead, he laughed at his own foolishness. He was going to get married; could you believe it? If he had shut his mouth up, he could’ve even been his best man or even the witness. He could’ve get wasted at his expense, said some cheesy words when it was the time to raise a toast and wish the best to the newly-wed couple.

But he just couldn’t. The unrequited love he’d felt for so much time had piled deep in his lungs, and soon enough he was sure he was going to run out of oxygen. The thought of Kuroo showing off the wedding ring broke every bit of hope he didn’t know his brain hold, still. That smug smile on his face while he was telling him all about it was the same one he’d ever put out on the court. That one that always preceded a “Sawamura…” and an obvious pun that would always get him a punch on the stomach. That one he fell in love with. From high school years to college, they’d been that one pair of friends everyone knows you’re going to find together. Laughing, arguing or playing volleyball, it didn’t really matter as long as they did it with their inseparable another half. He wasn’t able to remember when he’d caught feelings for the first time, but back then, Suga would make sure to tease him to remind him constantly. _“Those good old times when Hinata and Kageyama getting a proper amount of rest was my biggest concern”._ He chuckled at his own thought. He sounded like his father.

Still shivering, he got to his car. The cold had cleared his mind, at least enough to drive. Tomorrow he’d think of an apology, a way to fix the mess he’d got himself into. He’d been Karasuno’s captain for three years, he knew how to solve trouble, or so he told himself. Lying or not, he needed to believe in something or else he wouldn’t make it. With great difficulty due to the trembling on his hands, he managed to get the keys and open the door of his car. He let himself in, escaping the biting cold, and sighed. He put his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes, cursing at himself and his selfishness.

He was about to start the engine when he saw a figure coming his way. As it got closer, he recognized him, and he felt his heart exploding. Kuroo approached the passenger’s seat and looking at the man inside of the car, he shouted: “ _Are you gonna let me in or do you pretend to freeze me to death?”_

Daichi unlocked the door and it opened as swift as lightning. He was shivering, he hadn’t even grabbed a coat. “Do you want to visit a hospital so much?”, said Daichi, laughing at him. While he said that, though, he took his coat off and put it on him. “I’ve just turned on the heating, so it shouldn’t be long until-“

“Daichi”.

The sound of his own name caught him off guard. He never called him like that.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

If he was surprised, the following question just left him in shock. And even more astonishing was when he saw the tears flowing off his best friend’s eyes.

“Kuroo, no, look, you don’t get it, I-“.

“Let me do the talking this time.”

Daichi felt guilt clawing his throat. He leaned back on his seat, looking at the streetlight that was over them, the only one that kept them from night’s darkness; he was unable to look at him in the eye.

“I’ve known you for more years I can remember, and you truly waited until I was engaged to confess your feelings to me. I always considered you an idiot, but this is the worst thing that has ever crossed your mind”.

Every word felt like hell to him. A mix of embarrassment, anger, but most of all, sadness, were playing chess with him.

“Why are you doing this to me now?” Kuroo muttered.

He still couldn’t look at him, but Daichi felt the rage win over the sadness now. “What the hell do you mean, Kuroo? I’ve longed for you for so much time I don’t even know any other feeling anymore. I’ve faked so many smiles just so that we could still be close. My skin crawls every time you touch me, and I have to suppress every feeling that comes out of me in fear you’d notice because our friendship is the most valuable thing I own. Don’t even dare to say I hate you, Kuroo”, he blurted.

He felt his face red and his eyes puffy. Tears were about to go down his eyes, but he repressed them as much as he could.

“And when did I ever tell you I wanted a fake version of you? Tell me, when. I just wanted you to be… you”.

“You make it sound so fucking easy”.

“Sawamura, look at me.”

His eyes still on the light, he felt as if he had turned into stone, his limbs petrified and incapable of moving. The silence grew deeper and deeper, but Kuroo broke it, not letting him escape.

“Look at me, please…”

“Daichi”.

Without even wanting to, his body reacted on its own, and now he was looking at him, at his hazel eyes and cat-like pupils, that always made him seem sly. However, those eyes just denoted sorrow now.

“I’d always liked you”.

No. That couldn’t just be happening. This had to be a cam-show, right? So that meant someone had to come to tell him everything was a joke. Or worse, Suga or Bokuto had prepared this. He’d need to scold them later. Of course, it was probably that. It must be that. If not, it would mean… It would mean…

The sadness on Kuroo’s eyes told him exactly what it meant.

“Everyone knew about it, really. They were just waiting for you to react, I was expecting you to do something, too. I waited. I waited for years. And then, I thought I had misread the signals. It couldn’t be possible that you actually liked me.”

“Please, stop”. Daichi couldn’t contain the tears anymore and he felt like he would die if he felt a bit more miserable.

“Sawamura Daichi, the captain of captains, liking me? I thought I’d been too much of a prick or too much of a smug for actually believing that. I was broken, and I never got the courage to tell you, either”.

“Please…” Tears wouldn’t stop running down his face.

“I loved you, idiot. Why wouldn’t you understand? Why wouldn’t you answer?”

Kuroo looked at him, feeling his head on the verge of bursting and yet, he placed his hand on the other’s cheek and caressed it softly with his thumb. “Why?”, he mumbled, so quietly he almost didn’t hear himself. Daichi closed his eyes, abandoning himself to the touch and grabbed Kuroo’s hand with both of his. He opened them to look at the person he loved the most and asked:

“And what now?”

Kuroo looked at him with an indecipherable face.

“And what now?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I love Kurodai. Yes, I hate this, too. No, never write anything after watching a sad film.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Twitter: @moonandroses_


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